Life.

I lost my E-reader, which might not sound like a huge problem, but after staring at my bookshelf for over forty minutes I realized what I wanted to read was on the E-reader. Almost all my books are, because i can get a book within a minute instead of having to go out and buy one. Yet when I lose it- and I always do- I have nothing to read. I tried to explain my problem to the man waiting for the bus but he only responded with that's life.

I wanted to argue that's not life, but he left on his bus. Life is no one moving when the light turns green, empty water bottles littering the bedroom floor, and eating dry cereal - not because you dont feel like cooking but for the joy of the cereal itself. I thought all this to myself as I walked home. I wanted to tell someone- anyone- and I passed people on the street, but I wasn't sure they were real. So I kept my mouth shut and hummed a merry song because I thought it would make them upset.

Anyways...

So I went MIA again... I know. I know. But as this blog is my brain I can do what I want and I went MIA from me for a while. I blame my job at a place I can only call McMeaty. But I'm back with applications almost in at schools and thoughts in my head. So maybe you will be hearing from me in the near future.

Love you, my little mirrorites.

ME

Whiskers

This is what I want to be when I grow up!

Spiders

He had a nest of spiders living in his bathroom. I say nest, but it was really just three spiders who each had their own web. The spiders were black, brown, and white and each had a different part of the bathroom. He never could see them, but he didn't look. He never looked. Even if he did look, he wore glasses. They prevented him from seeing anything other than his toothbrush, which was the only reason he every entered the bathroom. I made him promise that he wouldn't kill the spiders if he ever saw them, he told me to go to sleep. I responded by telling him that we swallow spiders in our sleep.

Fancy Photo

Look what I made! Isn't it a Fancy?

Rant

You know what I hate? I hate when you turn around and see someone you hate. It is even worse if that someone hates you then It is all glare and return glare. I can no longer focus. The background melts into hate and my body burns. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. But I am going to pretend that I don't see you. I don't want to deal with my hatred right now.

I made you a picture of this situation. Be impressed with both my effort and my talent.

Eloping

I think everyone should elope at least once in their lives. Twice if at all possible. It is a game that everyone loves to play.

here are the rules

1) see a stranger
2) go up to the stranger
3) say hello
4) ask if the stranger is free
5) if the stranger is free ask the stranger to elope with you.
6) go elope

and that is how it is done!

Soooo

No fire today. Although I have enough written to keep you all entertained for a while. I don't feel like typing it up. Plus I graduate today, so I can do whatever I want. :P

Princess

I think this story should have a princess. Not only this story, but in every story. Just so you know it is fiction and takes place in a different world than this one. Our reality has no princesses. Princesses belong to better worlds than this one. Worlds that include time traveling, and space traveling, and most importantly plumbers. I think this story should have a princess in it. 

Books

Did you know that I have two works of creative writing in book form?

No?

Then you haven't read the about me page.

The first book is called Living Nightmares and Nonsense Dream. It is a collection of short stories and silly writings.

My second book is called Murder for Children. It is a short book about a murder and the detective solving it written with short world so that even those learning to read can enjoy this death, plus it comes with 12 photos! Hurray!

Broken Glass

Broken glass covered the floor. We tried to sweep it up but we didn't make much of an effort. I say we, but I really mean he. He swept the glass into a pile, leaving pieces scattered about. He was doing everything to keep me together. I found this funny because he was broken too. He just knew how to hide it. I was just so broken I couldn't hide the cracks. Still I hadn't fallen apart, like the glass bowl that litters our floor. I say our, like I own it too. But I don't. He owns it. I stay here. Much like the sofa that I pretend is my bed. I own nothing. What I do own is my life, yet no one really trust me with it. I own it much like a child owns a cat. At the end of the day someone else is still making sure it is feed. Sad. The bowl broke without warning. Just sitting firmly, flatly on the counter. It crashed. No one touched it. Maybe we all brake without warning.

Fire (Part 2)

I couldn’t breathe my throat was dry. I looked to my nightstand I have learned recently to always keep a glass of water there. I have gotten used to keeping a glass of water nearby for the dry throats I have been waking up with. The nightstand was completely empty. My books and lamp were gone and most importantly my water was gone. I started panicking. I couldn’t breathe. I darted to my door. It was sealed shut. I slammed myself against the door. If I didn’t get water I would die. I could feel death tapping on my shoulder.

Click here for Part One

A letter to my paper

You are white piece of paper, white and so very lacking of knowledge. I am full of knowledge and idea but I cannot be white. Once you learn you lose that innocence. I ate but I am hungry. I am always hungriest when I eat. I am never hungry when I don’t eat. I always thought it would be the reverse.  I want to give you an idea and turn you into something resembling myself. But my mind goes blank and pretends to be something that isn’t tainted with thoughts, something resembling you.  I guess I cannot bring my self to taint you.

Things I Miss

I miss the sun that shines in the South while I sit here freezing in the rain. At least it is not snowing anymore. I miss seeing friends and having conversations with someone other then the television. The characters don't always respond they way they should. I miss having a family and dinners that did not consist entirely of potatoes. I miss sleep. I miss being single some days. I miss having a home.

Tired

My eyes are heavy. It seems like I am always tired. I should have done my work yesterday, but I spent the day in bed crying. Friday I did the same. I think I got sick in the study, but that could have been a dream. My belongings live on the chair, he keeps saying that I need to clean them up but they have nowhere to go. I think we both no that cleaning them up means I have to move them out. Something that neither of us want to talk about. But our time is running out. I cried all last night. He licked my face.

Fire (Part 1)

The fire was in my hand and I needed to save it. I had to save it. Or the world end. My world at least. But I my world was already ending. I just had to save the fire. That was my one task. I tried to escape. Went down an ally.  He caught me.

My eyes flew open. It wasn’t morning yet but I wasn’t going to back to sleep. My body was shaking and my nose was stuffed. I was crying. I didn’t know how long I was having the dream but fire was consuming me. I was dreaming of fire every night: fire burning random objects, fire burning me, me smuggling fire out of this place. I was always stopped. He always stopped me. Then I woke up.

Blue

I bought new underwear so I didn't have to laundry and I stopped wearing socks because I dont have any. I cried more that week then any other week. Not because of my lack of laundry but in an addition to it. I would have to thank him for putting up with me and for always putting up with me. I cried half the night because I had to. Crying makes people feel better. Yet it made me cry even more because I was a nuisance keeping everyone up. I hardly notice the sirens from the cop cars. They drive by so often.

Baby

I was supposed to give the baby a name- any name- but it was harder than it seemed. I wanted to name it Wednesday, but my father freaked out and started to yell and demanded to know why I tried to be a freak. When he yells he grows really tall and it isn’t fun. So I named the baby Lilith and took it to the dentist. After it cried every five minutes at the dentist, the baby was left in the closet overnight. I have no mothering skill. When I returned the crying baby, it was announced that I killed it. I responded with locking the baby in a closet overnight wouldn’t have killed a real baby. I put my head down on the desk and imagined robots taking my teacher hostage. 

Skeletons

The crazy thing about skeletons is that you never know who is a skeleton and who has a skeleton. It used to be easy. Skeletons has skin and people did not. Pardon me. I mean People had skin and skeletons didn't. However people had skeleton under their skin. Things got confusing when skeletons starting to wear skin. At first this wasn't a problem because of the obvious silver zipper. However, as time passed the silver zipper was less and less obvious until one couldn't even see it. The problem about skeletons is you never know who is and who is not.

boston

It is storming in Boston. Maybe it is not a storm but the weather is certainly not pleasant there. Hardly a motivating fact to finishing my application. It is what I am meant to do but I am a bit cross that my fate isn't to be in nice weather. Maybe there will be dancing. I should be studying and applying. I should be wearing pants. What happened to my life? It is about as messy as my room. Good thing I live alone or maybe that only makes it worse. I pull my Econ book up from the floor beneath my desk causing a red panda, an empty box and a scarf that were using the big book as support to fall to the floor and take its place. I stare at the book unopened. I am late for something, but I am not sure what.

Robot

The robot was mad because I had its feather. I couldn’t give it back. Surrendering was not an option. The robot gave a warning in its robot voice, the alarm from my phone  screeched,  and I screamed. The mixture of noise startled me from sleep and woke up everyone else in ear shot. I was asked if I was OK. I nodded in response and stuck my toothbrush in my mouth. I just wanted to move on from my dream and start my day. I don’t drink coffee, but I go to Starbucks every morning, just to be around people. We all type on our computers and ignore each other, yet it makes me feel a part of something. You have two minutes until you have to return. Names of drinks that I have never had are called out and people rush to the counter. She said specifically to drag you in there. I drink my water and check my email. I have to take her to get shots today at 4:15. I go to write this in my day planner; however, it is lost in the bottom of my bag. I try to dig in my bag without calling attention to myself. It didn’t work. Spilling your bag all over the floor of a busy Starbucks is not a way to go unnoticed, but it is a way to find your day planner. I also found the negative of the photo we took in class. We had to squeeze together. The awkwardness made us laugh leading to a good photo, but the negative was covered in goop of a snot coloring that was left over from developing the instant photo and it tainted the image with disgust.  I put the negative away with the rest of the stuff from my bag and went back to typing on my computer with the rest of the Starbucks visitors. 

The red box

The red box of cheese stands proudly while hogging half the sofa. I am not sure why the box was on the sofa but it is in my spot. I dislike the red box not only because it is in my spot, but also for what it is. Cheese shouldn’t come in a red box. In fact, cheese shouldn’t come in any kind of box. I am offered the cheese from the red box, but I refuse. Someone comments on how I don’t do dairy, taking away from my protest of the red box. Someone else announces that we are going play a game. I shake my head and escape to the kitchen. I have a hard time following rules and a harder time following rules. There are flowers thrown into a mug in the midst of the chaos of dirty dishes. The flower’s petals are soft almost like human skin, I noted as I petted the flower. Mind started to drift to dead people and how their skin disappears. maybe dead peoples skin turns into flower petals. I announced this to the group and was answered with a brief silence and they resumed with their previous conversation.

Freedom

I might be afraid of being alone. Something I never thought I would say. But. I might be afraid of being alone. It is not that I am lonely or need others. I don't trust myself and I am afraid of what I may become. I am afraid that when left to myself I will warp into something completely out of control and never be free again. Weird, right? It has to be weird. For me to fear freedom because it leads to the lost of freedom. That has to be weird

A funny!

What do you call a book loving alligator?  






  A litigator

This is nothing, but It made me smile

I'm Susan the happy trotting elf! I trot and trot and bounce and bounce and smile a lot and that's what counts! I'm Susan the happy trotting smile a lotting elf! I'm polite so just for clarity, when I'm cross I say "Apparently!"

Good Day, Sir

Want to know a secret about me?

I am afraid of the dark. That's right an adult (I am using that word because I am old enough to drive, vote, and drink) is terrified of the dark. It is completely rediculous. I have a ritual I do every night. It starts with me checking under my bed (at home I can skip this step because I have enough stuff under my bed to prevent anything from hiding under there.) I also have to check my closet and make sure all the doors in my bedroom are completely shut. I then crawl into bed and get super compfy. Next I flick the lights off and throw the covers over my head. I stay here until I run out of air. If these steps are not completed, I shall not sleep.

Smile

I am not a liar!

If there is one thing I hate it is getting up early. Add running to that and I am in hell. However, this my mothers idea of bonding and she drags me out of bed and into the cold Florida morning air to run three miles. If I am waking up early, to running and be in the cold, I better get a metal.
My stomach protests to this torture. I feel like I am going to puke. I slow down to a walk and think, "pancakes please stay down."
My mother finds this the time to yell at me for being out of shape. She also reminds me I promised to work out.
I keep on insisting that I do work out.
She doesn't believe me and tells me she isn't signing me up for races anymore.
Not fair. You can't judge me in the morning if I don't have a metal to win.
I begin to wish that I brought my iPod. Luckily the house is in view.
I return home and say I have to practice some yoga. My mom says she will join. Recently I have been adding some sit ups and push ups to my daily yoga practice. This may or may not be related to me leaving the girl with the dragon tattoo feeling pudgy. Lol. I'm ridiculous. Anyways I totally can out push up my mother. I can also out sit up her and my yoga poses have excellent form.
Plus if we run at night I could totally kick her behind.
Sorry for the rant

Fear and Squirrels

Once upon a time, I was a child and lived in the middle of the woods, outside a fantasy city called Philadelphia. I ran around cutting down tree branches trying to make a trail in the woods, all the while picking up ticks. A short hike led to a actually revolutionary war cabin. I know that the revolutionary war was like 2000 years ago and the cabin is only still standing because it is protected by magic fairies. After all of my adventures I would take a shower and bed sent to bed, because even as a child I never slept. I am the energizer bunny in human form.

One day I returned from the woods after chasing after a rabbit and was told to take a shower. I turned on the water and instantly was revolted by the smell. It smelled like burned rotten stuff. It was the grosses thing I have ever smelled in my short little life.  Even today in my slightly longer little life that has survived college, I will still say that that smell from the shower that day is the worse smell I have EVER smelled.

I ran to my mother

"I am not getting in there," little me said.

"You have to get clean," my mother replied not fully understand the smell.

"But it smells like something awful that is smelly," I cried.

"Did you put food down the drain again?" She asked.

(I should explain here that I would go through 24 hour fasting periods because I was afraid I caught worms)

"No! Moooooooooooom. Come." I was full blown crying now looking like the mess I am.

My mother realized that the only she was going to get me to shut up was to follow me to the bathroom. She was instantly taken back by the horrid smell that has now taken over the upstairs hallway. This situation called for backup... She called my dad.

I don't remember this part of the story because I it took place in the basement and I live in fear of cold dark places, so I didn't join in. Instead I sat patiently in the kitchen with the house phone ready to call the police is a murder or monster attacked them. I would know to call because of the screams. Monsters and murders always cause screaming.

Lucky, my parents survived the journey to the basement and brought me back a present. Or what I assumed was a present. My dad took off the lid and revealed a crispy black remains of a squirrel he retrieved from the water heater.

Scary things happen in dark scary places.

Video for YOU

So Awkward It Hurts

Today, I was watching the Big Bang Theory and it got super awkward. I did what any normal human being would do and quickly covered my face. In my quick actions, I punched myself in the eye. So if anyone sees me with a black eye tomorrow, you know where it is from.

Sorry.

Sorry. I know it has been forever. I am going to change my ways. You will hear from me so much you will explode.

No Lies.

Love Always,

ME

Good morning sunshine

It is early. I am in Nicaragua sounded by crowing chickens. The moon is still up. I am all set for my wonderful adventure. I shall try to have photos up this evening.

Love Always,
Me

I have been thinking...

What todays modern world needs is huge bats. 

It would be awesome. 

the end. 

ADVENTURE adventure AdVeNtUrE

A long long time ago in the recent past I went on a journey. a journey in the direction of that way. It was a journey filled with the promise of adventure and danger. It was actually a journey I don't remember because I slept the entire time. 

BUT NOW I am going on a REAL adventure. I know it is a REAL adventure because I had to get shots and take medicine that made me sick. AND everyone knows that the more shots, test, pills and warnings you get before you leave on a trip, the more of an adventure that trip will be. It is like a rule a life. Like a Law of the Universe. I am not sure the name of it. But I have never been very good with names. 

But I know an adventure awaits. 

TA DA!

BLOOP A BLOOP A BLOOP A BLOOP A BLOOP
             a bloop a bloop a bloop
BLOOP BLOOP BLOOP
                    a a a a a bloop
BLLLLOOOOOOPPPPP
            bloop
A BLOOP A BLOOP A BLOOP

What is in my head today

The Lemon Lime Song

It's a Lemon

And a lime

It's a lemon

And a lime

And a lemon

And a lemon

Oh! It's a lemon

And a Lime!